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Kid Quotes


(After cleaning off a mirror in the old kitchen)
Me:  "Look, Button...no more fingerprints!"
Button:  "What are fringlepits?"

"This meat looks like a frog." *stabs meat* "Dead frog." *chewing* "Om, nom, nom."

Button-"In the morning, can we have princells?"
Button-"Sprinzels. Sprinzels! Sprintzels?"
(I do believe she was asking for pretzels.)

"J's mac and cheese is REALLY good.  I want to marry it, it's so good."

(Dancing at our wedding)
"This HAS to keep going on!"

Button:  "What did you say??"
Daddy:  "I said you're nuts."
Button:  *gasp*  "You just made me have a ear affection!"

"I've been running around all day without my jacket on, but I'm still warm because there's fur inside of me."

"Daddy, I keep wondering.... am I half France?"

(At Chili's)
Me:  "As usual, our children are the most quiet in the restaurant."
Button:  "It's because we're trained very good.  Like a dog.  (smiling)

Button:  "I know why you're so gassy."
Daddy:  "Why?"
Button:  "Because you're so literal."

Button:  "I had 2 staring contests with the pumpkin.  The pumpkin won the first one, but I won the second one."

(Day before Christmas break, asking what sort of gift we should get her teacher)
Me:  "Button, can you think of anything Mr. J really likes?"
Button:  "Well, he really likes 'respect'."

At AT&T, waiting on my new phone, the kids were sitting with me while my husband dealt with the salesguy.  Another salesmen walks by:
Guy:  "Wow, they are so quiet!"
Button:  "That's because she trained us so good... like dogs."

Discussing at dinner about why none of us want to add another child to our family:
Button: "We don't NEED another baby."
Peanut: looks hurt and offended
Button: reaches out and pats her shoulder "No, Peanut. I just meant... all we need is you!"
To daddy under her breath: "That's not what I meant."
Daddy: "I know, Button. I know."

On her 10th birthday, heading to get her ears pierced:
"I really am a big girl now. I got new socks, I'm hitting growth spurts again, I'm getting my ears pierced. And I'm 10!"

At Target:
Button: "My favorite candy is either the Yolks..."
Daddy: "What?"
Button:  "The Yonks..."
Me: "Yorks Peppermint Patties?"

Driving by the pond near are house:
"Pretty soon, the lily ponds will be sprouting."

Telling the twins about how much she loves Buca di Beppo:
Button: "I LOVED the Manitoba!"
Me: "It was manicotti, not Manitoba."


(A few months after cutting her own hair)
Peanut:  "I'm not going to get married when I grow up."
Daddy:  "Oh yeah?  What are you going to do?"
Peanut:  "I'm going to play with my daughter and tell her to not cut her hair."

Daddy:  "Peanut, you're already way too smart."
Peanut:  "I'm already way too lame."

"Hello world!  I have my new undies on!"

(With her fanny in the air)
"I gotta million gas!  There goes another one!"

"I'm thankful for going to the park and stepping on Daddy."

"I have a owie on my muscle."
"Peanut, that's your knuckle."
"I have a owie on my muscle. On my muckle. My...on my knuckle. *points* On there."

"We don't actually kill turkeys. We just eat all the turkeys! I loooooove turkey!"

"Daddy, you're not lying, you're just crazy!"

"What's that on your pecuter (computer)?"
"My what?"
"You're...what is that thing anyway?"

"Keep your hands to yourself, Mr Daddy sir! You can tickle me in the morning."

(About eating strawberries)
"It's making my brain feel so good!"

"She is a caterpillar and her name is Awesome."

"The bones are flavorble!"

"Daddy, when you laughed, it sounded like you want to destroy me!"

(looking at a McDonald's holiday cup that said "Joy")
"Daddy, what does 'J-seven-bubbles-Y' mean?"

Daddy:  "Are you guys coming or what?"
Peanut: (from downstairs)  "What!"

"Your eyes are refleckling."

(After her first day of kindergarten)
"My day wasn't good, it was AWESOME SAUCE!"

"A lot of it is getting gone, but it's okay because I have good looking."

"I have the wedgie."

(Peanut to daddy, who is self employed, as she is getting out of the car to go into school)
"Have a good day!  Try not to get fired!"

(At Lowe's)
Peanut:  "Those are fake.  They're not really real."
Daddy:  "Those are pinwheels, not flowers."
Peanut:  "I know, but they're planted in dirt!"
Daddy:  "Just because it's in dirt doesn't mean it's a flower.  You're in the dirt half the time.  Are you a flower?"
Peanut:  "No, I'm a kid.  I'm Pigpen."

Me, to Peanut:  "Daddy told me last night that he was getting old, fat, and stupid."
Peanut:  "Daddy, you're not fat!"

"If I wasn't this weird, this family would not have as much fun."

Peanut:  "We sang Frosty the Snowman today and this time, I didn't cry."
Daddy:  "Why did you cry last time?"
Peanut:  (soft voice)  "Because he melted."

(On some work for class:)
"If I were President, I wood eat my food all day, even at night."

(One of the words she used to describe herself on a school assignment)

"I'm not talktive, I'm just loud."

(To me, at dinner one night)
"You're just joking that I have Silly Indexes." (She was trying to say Silliac's)

Peanut: Today at lunch, I had a California burger.
Me: Why was it called a California burger?
Peanut: *shrugs* I think maybe because it was made of California.

Driving home:
Peanut: "Is there a weekend in the middle of school?"
Daddy: "Huh? What are you talking about?"
Peanut: "Momma just said that she didn't want us to lose our brains and not have them over the weekend."
Daddy: "Yeah?"
Peanut: "But it's Monday."
Me: "Noooo, Peanut. It's Friday."
Peanut: "....Oh."

Talking about driving to Cracker Barrel the next day:
Daddy: "You have to do 3 things if you want to go. One..."
Peanut: "Be good!"
Me: "Well, yeah, that's one that's always true."
Daddy: "Two, you have to help me outside."
Peanut: "And 3, let's try not to throw up."

About sitting cross legged:
"I sort of don't like the saying 'criss-cross applesauce'. Applesauce has nothing to so with sitting."

Putting up her workbook for the day:
"Learning is awesome. I love being smart."

Talking to Daddy:
Peanut: "I didn't sign the paper again."
Daddy: "Why not, dingle-berry?"
Peanut: "I'm not a piece of poo hanging off someone's bum."

From the backseat, on the way back to MN from TN:
"It's either my left fanny bone that hurts...or my gluteus maximus. And I do have a wedgie."

She asked for a new CD for Christmas. At first, she said it should only be Michael Jackson songs. But when asked if other songs could be on there, she asked:
Peanut: "Can you put some Asin Basin on there, too?"
Me: "You mean Ace of Base?"
Peanut: "Yeah, the ones that sing 'Beautiful Life'."

At dinner, Peanut was making faces.
Me: "You're insane."
Peanut: "Insane in the membrane, insane in the brain!"

Button and Peanut:

Button:  "I think my boots are made in China.  Everything is made in China."
Peanut:  "I think mine are made in French."

In the car, talking about lasagna:
Peanut:  "I can't remember the last time I had lasagna."
Button:  "I can't remember the last time I hit a growth spurt."


  1. These just made my morning. I don't know why I hadn't read them before, but they are hilarious. My sister in law writes down what her kids say and reading them back is one of my favorite things to do.

    1. We've kept a decent record but of course there are things that we've not made a note of and kick ourselves later for forgetting.

      Kids can say some of the most comical things. And judging from my nieces (almost 14), it takes a long time to grow out of it.