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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Facebook is making me question my friendships

This could turn into a series considering how much FB irritates me.



Do you have FB friends that are always upset?
I do. Lots of them.
Or maybe it's just the same 2 people over and over again.
Honestly, it's getting hard to tell due to the fact that the moment those posts appear in my sight, my eyes start to glaze over.

Every single day, it's something. Sickness, anxiety, dealing with rude people, dealing with kids who act like assholes, dealing with uncaring family, dealing with husbands who suck, dealing with shitty jobs, etc.
It's endless and depressing as hell.
And when those status updates turn into FULL PARAGRAPHS, you have issues.
I swear, I can go look at my feed, in a great mood, and by the time I log out I am either furious or depressed.


Sure, life can suck on certain days. People suck most days. But do you have to use FB like a diary?

I rarely post anything these days and when I do, I try to keep it light and fun. Random quirky things are funny to some people and probably not going to make all of your friends suicidal/homicidal.
I prefer to post weird pics of my youngest daughter acting like a moron and laughing hysterically.
Or a new Kid Quote-
At dinner, Peanut was making faces.
Me: "You're insane."
Peanut: "Insane in the membrane, insane in the brain!"




Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Memories of my childhood.... bastardized


After a long day yesterday, I sat down to mindlessly look at Pinterest. On my way to my biggest time-suck, I stopped on FB and noticed something trending.... Jem and the Holograms.

Wait. Jem and the Holograms? Truly, truly, truly outrageous Jem?


Yep. Jem. They are taking one of my old favorite cartoons and turning it into a movie.

I am really not sure how I feel about this.
For one thing, from the stories so far, it sounds nothing at all close to what the show was about at all.

Second?
It seems like every time Hollywood 'revamps' something, they bastardize it.

Against my better judgement, I watched the Dukes of Hazard movie with Johnny Knoxville, Stifler, and Jessica Simpson. I will never get that hour and a half back.
They turned Bo and Luke into bumbling idiots.
Uncle Jesse was just a pothead.
When I was in Kindergarten, I wanted a white Jeep, just like Daisy Duke's white jeep. That show was my world and I still love it when I stumble onto a rerun.

But that movie... dear lord. I wanted to punch the writers until they felt as bad as I did.

And 21 Jump Street. I watched the TV show back in the late 80's/early 90's. It was a DRAMA, not a dick and fart joke comedy. It's what put Johnny Depp on the radar for most fans and the rest of Hollywood.

I am starting to believe that Hollywood is out of ideas. It seems like every time you turn around, a remake is coming out and the press is eating it up. Most of the time, a lot of the fans aren't.

Take Footloose for example. The original (and best) was released back in 1984. The remake was released in 2011.
Footloose 1984's total domestic gross was over 80 million.
Footloose 2011's total domestic gross was around 50 million.
(Now factor in that tickets to movies in 1984 were a LOT lower than in 2011.)

It's as if the movie people in Hollywood are sitting around saying "This was popular as hell in the 80's and still has a huge fan following... let's remake it and capitalize on the name".

Yes, Footloose was totally awesome in the 80's. IN THE 80'S.
High school boys these days wouldn't be caught dead dancing like that.

And the Dukes were the best, cuz. But that was back in time when life was a lot simpler and the south had a small moonshine problem... not meth labs around every other corner.

What made those movies and shows back then such a hit? People my age and older who couldn't care less about a remake featuring kids young enough that they weren't even alive when the movie/show was on the air.

Seeing as how Hollywood has killed many of my childhood memories already, I am a little worried about the Jem movie. The cartoon was popular with little girls because it was family friendly and kid safe. I'm not sure what direction the movie is going to take but I don't see me letting my girls watch it like I would let them watch the old show. Teenage girls, running around LA? I doubt it's for 8 year olds.

And really... anything that makes Paris Hilton so excited makes me want to run the other way.







Monday, April 28, 2014

Bringing over some manicure fun

Hey all.

I am transferring a few of my old posts from my old nail blog. I will be adding them this week and I hope you all like the manicures that I did in the past. They are the ones I am most proud of and I can't wait to show them to you.

Once we move and get settled, I'll be painting my nails again and will have new manicure pics.
Until them, Behr paint is on my nails in a sort of splatter pattern due to painting our screened porch.


So, we are heading back to mom jeans?

Warning: If you get offended by this post, I'm not sorry. You might be the same person who looks down on me for wearing yoga pants. So, now we are even.

W.T.F.

For years now, it's been a fashion crime to wear high-waisted jeans. In fact, wearing 'mom jeans' was so frowned upon that you would be shunned by friends and family for daring to wear them... unless it was Halloween.

But all of a sudden, I'm seeing waists get higher.
On Pinterest, Etsy, Instagram... it's like an attack of the fashion senses.

What is going on? How did this happen? WHY is it happening?

Mom jeans...cut off so short you can see a hooha if the lighting is right.

So, mom jorts?
The kind Cathrine Bach wore YEARS ago on the Dukes of Hazard, the shorts that became known as Daisy Dukes?

Let me say this, as clear and concise as possible:

YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME WEARING THAT SHIT.

I'm sorry. I'm old enough that I actually HAD high-waisted jeans growing up so I know that they aren't comfortable. Not to mention, unless you have an ass that Michelangelo could have carved and a tiny, tiny waist, you're not going to look good.

And oh, how many toes of the camel variety are our eyes going to be assaulted with in the future?

For years now, I have been happy with my lower slung jeans. They make me look as if I actually have an ass back there and they don't feel like I just laced myself into a corset. The right cut of your jeans can make your butt look great and even slim your thighs.

When searching the topic on Twitter, I found this from a young man:

And just a few hours after that, a young lady tweeted this:


Mom jorts? Just go ahead and grab the Aqua Net (pink can) and a comb and start teasing those bangs back up into claw shape. I'm sure you can find some frosted eyeshadow and lipstick at your local Walgreens. Maybe you could find a vintage pair of L.A. Gear hightops to complete the look.

I mean... if you want to channel Tonya Harding as she was around the time she took out a hit on Nancy Kerrigan, be my guest.





Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Location, location, location

I've lived in Minnesota for a little over 6 years now.

In that time, I've witnessed:
- temperatures that couldn't find their way above 0 with a map and a GPS unit
- a snow storm that broke our mailbox
- another storm that took out the mailbox
- ice dams 8 inches thick and icicles that look like bacon
- Chick-fil-a setting up shop in the Twin Cities

In that time, I've also:
- planned a wedding, gotten married and become a step mom
- become a mom, officially and legally
- voted to help move along Marriage Equality in MN
- become a full fledged IKEA addict
- become a pro at sanding and staining
- learned to renovate when you cannot relocate
- learned to build loft beds

And there's a lot more that I have never written about... yet.

The years have been good (throwing out those damn winters of course) and I've grown a lot living here, becoming a wife and a becoming a mom.
So next month will bring a lot of happiness and yet there will be a sadness in my heart. A hole, if you will.

We are moving... to Tennessee.

We started this move in motion (or at least the idea of it) back in October. Since then it's been a lot of late night talks, scouring real estate, thinking, planning, and more late night talks.

Our house is starting to resemble a storage facility, full of boxes. And when you already have a home that's too small, trying to find places to put stacks and stacks of boxes is a fun task.

By day, we are trying to finish building a screened porch on the house for my mother-in-law to use when she moves back in after we leave. By night, I am packingpackingpacking.

I'll have more info as the next few weeks go by and I'll have tons of pictures.

For now, I am exhausted and must fall into my bed...making sure not to trip over rolls of bubble wrap or stacks of UHAUL boxes.