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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Memories of my childhood.... bastardized

After a long day yesterday, I sat down to mindlessly look at Pinterest. On my way to my biggest time-suck, I stopped on FB and noticed something trending.... Jem and the Holograms.

Wait. Jem and the Holograms? Truly, truly, truly outrageous Jem?

Yep. Jem. They are taking one of my old favorite cartoons and turning it into a movie.

I am really not sure how I feel about this.
For one thing, from the stories so far, it sounds nothing at all close to what the show was about at all.

It seems like every time Hollywood 'revamps' something, they bastardize it.

Against my better judgement, I watched the Dukes of Hazard movie with Johnny Knoxville, Stifler, and Jessica Simpson. I will never get that hour and a half back.
They turned Bo and Luke into bumbling idiots.
Uncle Jesse was just a pothead.
When I was in Kindergarten, I wanted a white Jeep, just like Daisy Duke's white jeep. That show was my world and I still love it when I stumble onto a rerun.

But that movie... dear lord. I wanted to punch the writers until they felt as bad as I did.

And 21 Jump Street. I watched the TV show back in the late 80's/early 90's. It was a DRAMA, not a dick and fart joke comedy. It's what put Johnny Depp on the radar for most fans and the rest of Hollywood.

I am starting to believe that Hollywood is out of ideas. It seems like every time you turn around, a remake is coming out and the press is eating it up. Most of the time, a lot of the fans aren't.

Take Footloose for example. The original (and best) was released back in 1984. The remake was released in 2011.
Footloose 1984's total domestic gross was over 80 million.
Footloose 2011's total domestic gross was around 50 million.
(Now factor in that tickets to movies in 1984 were a LOT lower than in 2011.)

It's as if the movie people in Hollywood are sitting around saying "This was popular as hell in the 80's and still has a huge fan following... let's remake it and capitalize on the name".

Yes, Footloose was totally awesome in the 80's. IN THE 80'S.
High school boys these days wouldn't be caught dead dancing like that.

And the Dukes were the best, cuz. But that was back in time when life was a lot simpler and the south had a small moonshine problem... not meth labs around every other corner.

What made those movies and shows back then such a hit? People my age and older who couldn't care less about a remake featuring kids young enough that they weren't even alive when the movie/show was on the air.

Seeing as how Hollywood has killed many of my childhood memories already, I am a little worried about the Jem movie. The cartoon was popular with little girls because it was family friendly and kid safe. I'm not sure what direction the movie is going to take but I don't see me letting my girls watch it like I would let them watch the old show. Teenage girls, running around LA? I doubt it's for 8 year olds.

And really... anything that makes Paris Hilton so excited makes me want to run the other way.

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