Facebook is making me question my friendships

This could turn into a series considering how much FB irritates me.

Do you have FB friends that are always upset?
I do. Lots of them.
Or maybe it's just the same 2 people over and over again.
Honestly, it's getting hard to tell due to the fact that the moment those posts appear in my sight, my eyes start to glaze over.

Every single day, it's something. Sickness, anxiety, dealing with rude people, dealing with kids who act like assholes, dealing with uncaring family, dealing with husbands who suck, dealing with shitty jobs, etc.
It's endless and depressing as hell.
And when those status updates turn into FULL PARAGRAPHS, you have issues.
I swear, I can go look at my feed, in a great mood, and by the time I log out I am either furious or depressed.

Sure, life can suck on certain days. People suck most days. But do you have to use FB like a diary?

I rarely post anything these days and when I do, I try to keep it light and fun. Random quirky things are funny to some people and probably not going to make all of your friends suicidal/homicidal.
I prefer to post weird pics of my youngest daughter acting like a moron and laughing hysterically.
Or a new Kid Quote-
At dinner, Peanut was making faces.
Me: "You're insane."
Peanut: "Insane in the membrane, insane in the brain!"

So, we are heading back to mom jeans?

Warning: If you get offended by this post, I'm not sorry. You might be the same person who looks down on me for wearing yoga pants. So, now we are even.

W.T.F.

For years now, it's been a fashion crime to wear high-waisted jeans. In fact, wearing 'mom jeans' was so frowned upon that you would be shunned by friends and family for daring to wear them... unless it was Halloween.

But all of a sudden, I'm seeing waists get higher.
On Pinterest, Etsy, Instagram... it's like an attack of the fashion senses.

What is going on? How did this happen? WHY is it happening?

Mom jeans...cut off so short you can see a hooha if the lighting is right.

So, mom jorts?
The kind Cathrine Bach wore YEARS ago on the Dukes of Hazard, the shorts that became known as Daisy Dukes?

Let me say this, as clear and concise as possible:

YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME WEARING THAT SHIT.

I'm sorry. I'm old enough that I actually HAD high-waisted jeans growing up so I know that they aren't comfortable. Not to mention, unless you have an ass that Michelangelo could have carved and a tiny, tiny waist, you're not going to look good.

And oh, how many toes of the camel variety are our eyes going to be assaulted with in the future?

For years now, I have been happy with my lower slung jeans. They make me look as if I actually have an ass back there and they don't feel like I just laced myself into a corset. The right cut of your jeans can make your butt look great and even slim your thighs.

When searching the topic on Twitter, I found this from a young man:

And just a few hours after that, a young lady tweeted this:

Mom jorts? Just go ahead and grab the Aqua Net (pink can) and a comb and start teasing those bangs back up into claw shape. I'm sure you can find some frosted eyeshadow and lipstick at your local Walgreens. Maybe you could find a vintage pair of L.A. Gear hightops to complete the look.

I mean... if you want to channel Tonya Harding as she was around the time she took out a hit on Nancy Kerrigan, be my guest.

Target- When Photoshop attacks

If you were on the interwebs at all this week, you must have seen at least one article about the horrific Photoshop job on Target's website. I myself found it through a friend on FB and was horrified.

It's no secret that magazines edit the hell out of models and celebrities.
This GIF of Jennifer Lawrence (everyone's favorite down-to-earth celebrity) made me angry and totally confused:

 

Seriously? THEY MOVED HER COLLAR BONE.

Most celebrities are pretty enough and THIN enough already but then the magazine people are certain that they need to make them look even thinner? STOP IT.

But at least the photo above was done well, I guess. Not like what Target did to a young model:

Um, there are sharp dagger type things coming out of her body, under her arm and around her hip on the right side of the photo. That looks pretty dangerous if she has an underarm itch.

AND WHERE IS THE REST OF HER VAGINA?

Jesus. I know some people are always trying to attain that weird gap between their thighs but this is ridiculous. That looks like it hurt.

They did the same here. Her vagina seems to be missing a large piece, making it hard for her to ever procreate. And what's with her left hand/thigh area?

This is the sloppiest job of photo enhancing that I have personally ever seen. It's downright freaky.

Sadly, when I found the link I saw the comments between the friend that posted it and a friend of hers. And the comments by the friend made me sad.

MY friend was right in saying that crap like this (photoshopping) is a large part of why young girls (and guys) have such a skewed image of what a body should look like.
HER friend was saying that if anyone doesn't know that they photo enhance people on magazines and in ads then they are just plain ass dumb.

Um, how many teenage girls click on a link that SHOWS them that being 'perfect' is not possible? They don't want to spend time hearing or reading that being perfect isn't possible. They are being pressured through every form of media to look like Jennifer up in the first photo.

The above bathing suits were in the JUNIORS section, not the adults.
Teenage girls, to a point, have been told that photo enhancing happens but that hasn't stopped the eating disorder rate from skyrocketing the more photos are getting enhanced.

Most people 'know' that it's a trick but that's not what crosses your mind when you see billboards featuring tiny, beautiful women wearing clothing that you love. You end up thinking to yourself how much you wish you could be thinner or look good in those clothes.

But thanks to Target, I will never crave a body that would fit into a bathing suit in that way.
I like my lady parts intact, thanks.

Personal Hygiene Took a Holiday

I know grandparents like to 'spoil' the kids but there is a fine line between 'spoiling' and 'enabling'.

The kids went to see grandpa all this past weekend and we hoped that all of the talks about being 'responsible' were sinking in. The only good thing that happened was that Peanut didn't bite her nails like she usually does. She was SO proud to show us on Sunday when we picked them up. ***

Usually, Grandpa feeds them crap. Okay, fine. It's just a day or two. But this weekend was the worst. For breakfast Saturday, they had garlic cheese toast? Cheeseburgers for lunch on Saturday and more cheese toast for dinner? Breakfast on Sunday? More garlic cheese toast and pizza for lunch.
This man had a heart attack a few years ago due to the crap he shovels into his body. So, it's a good idea to teach the kids to do it, too? No.

And neither kid brushed their teeth. ALL WEEKEND. What. The Hell.
They brush them morning and night here and they have NEVER tried to get out of it. Never. And I know they are just 7 and 10, but they know better.
And why didn't the adult make sure they did it?
That explained why Peanut's breath smelled like feet.

And to top it off? He bought them new bikes (too small for both kids) and no helmets.
Look, I am not a 'helicopter parent' but helmets are a necessity. They aren't great at riding bikes and have a tendency to fall over when making turns. I don't care if they wear pads or not but helmets are needed with clumsy little kids.
And it's not a matter of one of them 'might' have fallen.
Peanut DID fall off. And she hit her head, left temple.
Luckily, it wasn't too serious. But it could have been. Dammit.

I told my mom about it all today. And usually, she says stuff like 'rules are different at grandparent's houses'. Today? She was astounded... and disgusted about the personal hygiene. She would have NEVER let me go all weekend not brushing my teeth. Gross.

Rules have to be somewhat the same when the kids travel to other houses in the family. It's too confusing for a child to have certain rules at one house and almost no rules at another. For example,  cleaning up their crap. Daycare always made them clean up. School always makes them clean up. We have ALWAYS made them clean up. The grandparents don't make them clean up. And it's tough to correct that. And it's always US that has to put the work into getting the bad habits back out of them.

Back when the kids stayed with their bio mom for a week at a time, we had a HELL of a time getting them back to normal the next week. She let them stay up way too late, get up way too early, eat junk, etc. (But she did make them brush their TEETH!) It was just a week but to a kid like Peanut, a week is the equivalent to a month.

Pretty much every time we go out of town, we send the kids to one of the grandparents and then they switch off mid week. And every time we come home, we go through stuff similar to this mess. And it's killing us. We cannot handle much more of it. Something has to be done before we lose our freaking minds... or the kids teeth rot out.

***I can see why she didn't bite them. You wouldn't want to stick anything that nasty and dirty in your mouth either. Nasty. Looked like she has been digging in the dirt all weekend.

Abercrombie and What?

I cannot remember the last time I shopped in an Abercrombie and Fitch store. I do remember that I couldn't hear shit due to the LOUD music pumping through the speakers. And I do remember noticing that they were sizing their clothes down.

After what I read earlier today, I'm glad that I stopped giving that store my money.
And this is not the first time the CEO, Mike Jeffries, has come out and bashed bigger people.

He refuses to sell clothing larger than a size 10 for females. And his '10' is more like a 6 or 8 last time I checked. And if you want a shirt larger than a Large? Sorry. No dice.
(Even though, have you seen some of the teenage girls walking around? They have bigger racks, naturally, than most of their own mothers.)

Just out of curiosity... have you seen the CEO, Mike Jeffries?

See, I am one of the last people to make fun of someone for how they look or their size. But this guy? I just cannot contain my disgust.

He looks as far from a 'cool kid' as you can get.

And he's an openly gay man. He should know better than most about how hard it is to get through life when you are in a group that is perpetually bashed for being different.

I told my husband about this right after I read the article... after I had calmed down enough to speak.
My husband made an observation that was sort of scary but dead on.

Hitler hated who he was. He hated everything about himself and chose to persecute those that shared those same qualities with him.

How is Mike Jeffries any different?
I doubt very much he was the 'cool kid' and he's not really a model size. And since he actually was married in the 70's to a woman, he obviously hid his true self until it was okay for him to come out. I imagine he spent a good part of his life unhappy and trying to 'fit in'.
And yet he chooses to say what he does and run his company in a way that makes most people cringe.

Not to mention, people like him are what drive young girls to have eating disorders. They so badly want to 'fit it' and be like their classmates who wear A&F. They end up purging their food or just not eating so that they can fit into those tiny doll clothes.

People like this man make me ill. It is sad and irritating to watch someone like this rake in tons of money, hobnob with the rich, fly all over the world, and have an influence on teens yet be such a downright disgusting person.

Button does own 2 shirts from A&F Kids. We bought them over a year ago in a mad dash to find something green for her to wear for St. Patrick's Day. But they never fit her right since she's a shrimpie. And at the time, she had a little gut action going on.
According to Mike Jeffries, she wouldn't be one of the kids that he would want to be wearing his clothing.

And when we toss them tomorrow, we will tell Button WHY we are tossing them.
I bet money that she gets sad first and then says that she wants to punch the guy in the neck by the end of the explanation. Especially since I couldn't possibly wear anything from that store. By this man's definition, I am fat and not cool enough to wear those clothes.

She'll be angry with him... and I bet I get a huge hug.

I Will Now Support Your Competition

Commercials.
They can be quite entertaining.
They can also be annoying as hell.

And just like anything else in this world, people have different opinions.
What is entertaining to one is annoying to another.
And vice versa.

Some commercials end up being great because I might find a new song/artist featured that I had never previously encountered. (An old T-Mobile commercial brought me The Hives and the Internet Explorer commercials introduced me to Alex Clare. I don't care about either product/company but I liked the music.) 

But some commercials make me stabby. (I'm looking at you, Axe Body Spray/Shampoo.)
And if they irritate me too much at all, I won't buy what they're trying to sell me.

First up: Activia
Seriously. I don't give a damn about your digestive system and I'm guessing I'm not alone in this thought. And the older commercials? Where the ladies taped themselves everyday? Come on. Who in the hell would really do that? And why would you think ANYONE, except maybe your doctor, would care about your bowel movements?

Second: ANY infomercial
I am AMAZED at the actors they find for these.
WHY must you make every day activities look sooooo hard?
I generally don't end up thinking 'wow, that task is pretty difficult and that product would save me so much time and energy. Must call now! '.
I end up thinking 'you're a dumbass if you seriously cannot manage to hang your clothes on a hanger without them falling off. Maybe stop swinging the hanger back and forth?'.

Third: He went to Jared!
I really don't care where he went. Those commercials just make me want to punch someone, ANYONE. I don't have a problem with the actual stores but I just.can't.handle.the.ads. At all.
I refuse to set foot in one of their stores because of the commercials.
When my husband and kids were shopping for beads for my Pandora bracelet, he refused to go to Jared.

Fourth: Fruit Roll-Ups
That kid. That kid that sees the box. That kid that sees the box and says pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaassssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeee throughout the ENTIRE store until the dumbass mother caves in and gives him the box.
Are you freaking kidding me?
Number one, if one of our kids tried that, they would be grounded until after high school. (They know better.)
Number two, giving in to kids? Yep. That's why the zoos and theme parks are filled with selfish little brats who must have it NOW.
I have to mute that commercial immediately or I run from the room.

Five: Quilted Northern
No. No, it is NOT time to get real about what happens in the bahthroom. (You know you just said that EXACTLY the way she does in the commercial.)
Bathroom time, as we have told our kids, is private time.
And the rest of it.... like it's a NEW idea to feel clean?
It's a new and unheard of idea that feeling clean is sooo important?
And it's amusing to me that they never say 'poop', 'pee', or anything else that would make it more 'real' about what happens in the bahthroom.


Is it any wonder why I refuse to watch anything live?
If I cannot watch it on the DVR, I just don't watch it.

And There Goes My Lunch

I have never claimed to be 'normal'.

So, if any of this makes you think of me as slightly 'off', I really can't do anything about it. Hell, I KNOW that I'm slightly 'off'.

There are things in this world that make me want to wretch... or punch someone.
Sort of like how some people have a problem with the word 'moist'. (Dead Like Me cracked me up with a story about that. The mom couldn't STAND that word.)

While that word doesn't bother me, other things do.

For starters, I cannot stand watching people eat (in person and on TV.)

WHY are there so many commercials that show EXTREME close-ups of people eating? Close-ups of people putting food in their mouths. Close-ups of people chewing... with mouths slightly open. Close-ups of people licking their lips with food on their tongues.

*Shudders*
And it's so much worse when it's a commercial for anything chocolate.
Seriously, it looks like a mouth full of sh*t.

And while we are on the mouth subject, I cannot handle seeing blog posts about lip gloss and/or lipstick swatching. It makes me want to gag. Seeing the shade on YOU doesn't help me see if it'll be the right shade for me. So, you're just making me feel ill.

I have no idea where this intense hatred came from about lips/mouths.
Like I said, I never claimed to be 'normal'.


Oh, and another thing about lips and TV/movies!
Do they stick microphones IN their mouths when the actors kiss?
The sound sends me diving for the remote to mute it as quickly as possible.
In real life, I have NEVER heard the smacking lip and mouth noises that loud.

It's like listening to kids play with Gak in a plastic cup.

It seriously sounds like they are trying to suck their faces off. I start thinking I am watching Aliens. But then, I actually enjoyed that movie.

I guess the next step for the cameras is to be in the esophagus and record the inner workings of the noises that mouths make.