For years now, it's been a fashion crime to wear high-waisted jeans. In fact, wearing 'mom jeans' was so frowned upon that you would be shunned by friends and family for daring to wear them... unless it was Halloween.
But all of a sudden, I'm seeing waists get higher.
On Pinterest, Etsy, Instagram... it's like an attack of the fashion senses.
What is going on? How did this happen? WHY is it happening?
Mom jeans...cut off so short you can see a hooha if the lighting is right.
So, mom jorts?
The kind Cathrine Bach wore YEARS ago on the Dukes of Hazard, the shorts that became known as Daisy Dukes?
Let me say this, as clear and concise as possible:
YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME WEARING THAT SHIT.
I'm sorry. I'm old enough that I actually HAD high-waisted jeans growing up so I know that they aren't comfortable. Not to mention, unless you have an ass that Michelangelo could have carved and a tiny, tiny waist, you're not going to look good.
And oh, how many toes of the camel variety are our eyes going to be assaulted with in the future?
For years now, I have been happy with my lower slung jeans. They make me look as if I actually have an ass back there and they don't feel like I just laced myself into a corset. The right cut of your jeans can make your butt look great and even slim your thighs.
When searching the topic on Twitter, I found this from a young man:
And just a few hours after that, a young lady tweeted this:
Mom jorts? Just go ahead and grab the Aqua Net (pink can) and a comb and start teasing those bangs back up into claw shape. I'm sure you can find some frosted eyeshadow and lipstick at your local Walgreens. Maybe you could find a vintage pair of L.A. Gear hightops to complete the look.
I mean... if you want to channel Tonya Harding as she was around the time she took out a hit on Nancy Kerrigan, be my guest.