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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

An open letter to the jackholes on the road:


Dear asshat in the snow covered car in front of me after the last snowfall,

You clearly took a few seconds this morning to clean off your front and back windows so that you could see while driving. Kudos to you for attempting to drive safely after Mother Nature dumped on you the night before.

While you were using that scraper to clear the windows, did it occur to you to be thorough and clean off the top of the car as well? I'm guessing not, judging from the 10 inch dome of white shit on top of your car. Maybe it was just time to jump in the car and start texting while driving, while you weaved in and out of lanes on the way to work. You're a busy person on a mission. I get it.

You know, I'm all for surprises...especially ones that make me giggle.

But having a good 5 inch brick of snow and possible ice RIP its way off of your car and hit my windshield at full force going 60 down an interstate is NOT the surprise that I had in mind that day. It's even less of a wanted surprise if it startles me enough to pee or shit on myself... or god forbid jerk the wheel and put my family (and others) in danger due to the fact that your lazy ass couldn't follow through with your snow removal.

I guess you're just in so much of a hurry that you can't be bothered with doing a better job, huh? Letting the wind clear off your vehicle is more convenient for you, right? How about if I drive in front of you down the interstate for a distance while letting my kids throw things out the window with the same density as your snow missiles? Would you like that? I doubt it.

Take 5 extra minutes in the morning and clear off the top of your car. It'll give you something to do while you car tries to warm itself in the frigid temperatures.
And put down the damn phone and pay attention to the road.

Sincerely,
The lady that almost peed her pants the last time






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